Don't Do It

When we decided on Singapore as the hub of our Southeast Asia vacation earlier this year, we finally had something to get excited about and plan, other than some temple time in Cambodia, that is, which was the main point of this trip. Oddly enough, one of the first reactions we got from a number of people about our choice of destinations was "don't break the law; don't they cane people there?"

Why...yes they do cane people. And we had exactly the same thought. 

Now, ordinarily, the last thing we would think about doing on a trip is breaking the law, but Singapore has some mighty strict laws so there were definitely some obscure and seemingly benign rules that we could easily and inadvertently find ourselves on the wrong side of. Did you know chewing gum is illegal there? It is. And it's not the only thing. Who knows what else is forbidden. I'm don't know what the punishment is for chewing gum in Singapore but I know for damn certain I didn't want to find out.

So why did people (including the two of us) have this reaction? Well, in September of 1993, an American teenager named Michael Fay decided to have some fun in Singapore and spent a few days stealing some road signs and vandalizing some cars. Good fun? Maybe for some. Good idea? Mmm...probably not. Not for him. Not in Singapore. He was convicted of violating Singapore's Vandalism Act. The punishment? Six lashes with a cane. 

Some people in the United States freaked out. Corporal punishment? For a little minor theft and a little damage to some cars? How dare Singapore do this to an American citizen? And just a teenager at that.

Hey...don't do the crime if you can't do the time. His reduced sentence (four lashes) was carried out on May 5, 1994. I'm guessing he never stole any more signs or vandalized any more cars again. At least not in Singapore, anyway. Singapore don't play with crimes.

Now, to be clear here, I am not equating chewing gum to vandalizing cars and I am confident in stating (without actually looking it up) that the Singapore judicial system doesn't impose caning sentences for chewing gum. But gum IS, without question, prohibited. It's on the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority list of prohibited items to bring into the country.

Know what else is on that list? I mean I'm sure you don't so I'll tell you: concealed weapons; all manner of nicotine products including snuff, chewing tobacco and e-cigarettes; obscene publications; endangered species; controlled drugs; and seditious materials. To me, gum is clearly the odd man (or odd thing, I guess) out on this list. Nonetheless, we discarded any gum (read: contraband) we had in our possession before we boarded our plane for SIN at Haneda Airport just outside of Tokyo. No rule breaking for us. Not in Singapore. No way!

So I don't know if the hype before this trip made us extra sensitive to rules in Singapore, but I'm sure it helped us pay attention to a lot of posted signs in a way that we wouldn't have if Michael Fay hadn't been caned 30 years ago. There are a lot of rules in that city all over the place. I'm sure there are in any major city, but we looked extra hard I am sure and we found some guidelines that we wouldn't necessarily see at home.

Like what, you may ask?

Like no durian (that famously stinky tropical custardy fruit that some say smells like rotten meat) on the subway system. This wasn't a surprise to us necessarily because we had been told that durains are forbidden on public buses in Zanzibar when we were there last year. I do think it's interesting that the no durians rule on the subway is posted next to no smoking, no eating/drinking and no flammable goods and that all three of those offenses carry fines but having a durian doesn't. I guess just don't walk around with durians is the message. 

There were certainly lots of other rules posted everywhere.

No admittance. No chasing the otters. No feeding the monkeys. No jaywalking. Although actually, it's STRICTLY no jaywalking. Fines for not clearing your tables at the hawker markets. No fighting (or "voluntarily causing hurt", if you prefer). No exercising in groups (individual exercise seemed to be fine). And definitely, definitely, no gum, although we didn't actually see any signs prohibiting gum. Or spitting, which is also apparently illegal, although I'm not sure why you would spit in Singapore because it's so hot there I would think you'd need every but of saliva to hydrate your body.

There were some scary signs there, too, like those that had images of a person with their hands up with another person pointing a rifle at them. These signs prohibited photography of the building behind the fence that the sign was attached to and also directed us to not even take a picture of the sign itself. And not wishing to incur the wrath of the Singapore government (coming home un-caned matters to me), I did not take pictures of those signs.

By the way, I think our favorite rule from this trip is the "Exercising in groups is not permitted in this area" sign. I think every time we have been out in a park or just on the street since we came back from Singapore and we've see a bunch of people jogging or doing yoga or whatever, we ask each other if exercising in groups is permitted wherever we happen to be.

You know what we didn't see in Singapore? Cops. I guess everyone knows how to behave, maybe? The citizens of Singapore must have normalized law-abiding behavior to preserve harmony in their communities in a way that most American towns or villages or cities never would. I love that. The yearning for absolute and complete freedom to do anything at any time even if it threatens or makes others uncomfortable is subjugated so that society as a whole is more orderly, safer and good for everyone. I'm a fan. Take notice, America.

But seriously, we honestly didn't see really any police presence at any normal time in our time in Singapore. Sure, there were cops hanging around the subway system during Lunar New Year's Eve (and the early morning of Lunar New Year's Day) but they seemed to be there more to direct people as to where to go than to arrest folks for crimes. And yes, we also saw some (again in the subway system) before and after the opening ceremony of the River Hongbao event at Gardens By The Bay. But that was it. 

Now, I have no doubt that people are watching. Just check out the picture below taken at an entrance to one of Singapore's subway stations. There are plentiful cameras around and I think everyone there knows they are at risk of being on tape at any moment. You might think it's sinister or big brother-y but I didn't feel it. I like law and order. I like rules, even if it means we have to give up chewing gum. I have no issue with anything that Singapore permits or prohibits. But then again, we weren't looking to (and didn't) break any laws. No caning for us!