Tuesday, April 30, 2019

There And Back Again


"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort."

So begins J.R.R. Tolkien's 1937 novel The Hobbit. For a while, oh...let's say seven or eight or years or so, I read The Hobbit every Christmas when I was home with my parents for the holidays from school or my job in upstate New York. The copy I owned (and still own) is the 50th anniversary edition bound and boxed appropriately in gold with full color illustrations of Tolkien's own drawings. It cost me $9.50 at the Dawn Treader bookstore in Ann Arbor. I know this because the price is still written in pencil on the first page of the book. Suffice it to say, I love this book.

What does all that have to do with my travel project, you might ask? Well, there's a place in New Zealand where the not nasty / dirty / wet, nor dry / bare / sandy hole from The Hobbit exists. Sort of. So do a lot of other hobbit-holes. Sort of. There's a whole hill of them, with rocking chairs out front and ponds between them and paths connecting them. There's even a mill of sorts and a tavern. And it's all completely made up and fake and it's also completely awesome.

When it came time for director Peter Jackson to adapt Tolkien's three-volume Lord of the Rings epic novel into a series of three films, he elected to transform his home country of New Zealand into Middle Earth. Mount Ngauruhoe became Mount Doom, Fiordland National Park became Fangorn Forest, the Southern Alps became the Misty Mountains and a small part of a cow farm near Matamata was transformed into a slice of the Shire. The Hobbiton part, to be precise. 

The first glimpse of Hobbiton.
So the story of Hobbiton starts with Jackson and some assistants combing the countryside of New Zealand looking for a patch of land with a hill, a lake and a big tree on top of the hill and somehow, someway they decided that about 1% of a farmer's field in the middle of nowhere was the spot they had to have. How this happens I have no idea. Why this field? How were they even in a field in Matamata to begin with? Did they roam all over every square inch of the country? Really? I mean, really? Of course I could have asked all these questions of our bus driver, but I did not. Complete fail.

Our journey to Hobbiton started in Auckland. And yes, since we had a bus driver we obviously took a bus. I mean, why not? It was either that or drive ourselves which was just out of the question for us in the first few days we were in country on the north island. South island later on in the week? Sure. Drive out of Auckland. Don't think so.

The ride from Auckland is about two hours to the visitors center and then it's a timed, guided tour from there. Seems restrictive? I thought it would be too and it's really not. There was plenty of time to see everything with maybe one last bit which we'll get to.

Our tour started with our guide, Mike, who read us the rules of the road and anointed us all hobbits for the hour plus that we were under his care. This was important because any time anyone fell a little behind the tour we'd be admonished with a cry of "come on, my hobbits!" It should be noted that we were hobbits in name only and did not get to dress up, especially not in the real bonafide movie version of the costumes because that would have taken two hours. We didn't have that much time.

After our quick orientation, we were off into Hobbiton proper, starting with the spot where Gandalf stopped his cart after Frodo Baggins told him he was late at the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring. And as we well know, a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.


It is difficult for me to convey how a place so artificial and non-natural can inspire such wonder in me, but walking through the gap in the trees and taking my first steps onto a path in Hobbiton was incredible. I know it's a movie set that is supposed to look perfect and ideal but honestly I had no idea it would make me think something like "Oh my God! I'm in Hobbiton!" I know it's completely made up, but it worked on me.

The initial view of Hobbiton is shown two pictures above. You can see the whole place all the way up to the massive (and not real) tree at the top of the hill, which is right on top of Bag End. Between Bilbo Baggins' place and where you are standing are tens of hobbit-holes with different colored (and as it turns out different sized) painted round doors. One thing you struggle to see is tons and tons of fellow tourists, which I was truly surprised about. Sure there were some there, but the majority were well hidden by the undulating paths climbing the hill.

The details are incredible. Chairs and tables in the front yards. Freshly baked bread (not really...but it looked real) left to cool off and newly caught fish (again, not really but...) drying on a line outside the fishmonger's house. Giant vegetables (again, not real) in wheelbarrows lined with straw. Paper lanterns hanging to light the paths at night. A village notice board with advertisements of fiddle lessons and the Buckland Fair. Clothes hanging on washing lines. And the smoke from the chimneys. Which isn't really logs burning in a fire because it doesn't look as smoke-like as the fake stuff.

And I know making fantasy seem like reality is what the people who made this place are paid to do. It still doesn't make it any less amazing. We were in The Shire. There's no doubt in my mind.

Samwise Gamgee's place...
and Bag End, home of Bilbo Baggins and, later, his nephew, Frodo.
Most of the attraction here is being transported to a place that exists that has no business existing. There's a fascination in seeing, smelling, touching (not everything...just a few things) and taking in everything about a place that has before this only been real in your mind's eye and in the films you have watched, whether it's the super excellent Lord of the Rings trilogy or the why-was-it-three-films-again? adaptation of The Hobbit. But it's also fun to have some inside scoop on how this all came together.

We got a little. First of all, the place was first opened for visits after the Lord of the Rings was released. Then when the decision to make The Hobbit was made, they had to stop tours and rebuild the place. The tree at the top of the hill? As I already mentioned it's not real but originally it was. Or sort of. It was once a real tree but it wasn't in the location needed so they took apart a real tree and re-assembled it on the top of Bag End. They added the leaves by hand. Every. Leaf. By. Hand.

Speaking of trees...Tolkien mentioned plum trees in the books. Only plum trees don't scale right with hobbit-holes in the movies. Too big. You will only find citrus and apple trees in Hobbiton today but there are apparently plum trees in the movies. Again, sort of. There are actually apple trees with fake plums attached to the branches with wires. 

And the road we drove in on? Built by the New Zealand Army a long time ago before the same Army served as soldiers in the Battle of Helm's Deep in The Two Towers. The directors had to tell them to back off a little during the battle sequence so they wouldn't harm each other.

And then there are those hobbit-holes, which I've already mentioned are different sizes. It's true. And it's not because different sized hobbits live in them. It's all for the camera angles. It's all about the camera!! Some hobbit-hole doors are hobbit sized, some are human sized and some won't fit either hobbits or humans through them. Like me. Below.


So there are some hobbit-holes that you can go into and some that you can't then right?

Wrong! You can't go into any of them. Not a single one.

Now, I know what you are thinking: the picture right above here that I just pointed out after I said some doors were human sized shows me exiting a hobbit-hole, right? Nope. Wrong again! That door doesn't move. It's open just wide enough so tourists who have nothing better to do in New Zealand can get their picture taken appearing to step out of their very own hobbit-hole can do it. Did I mention by the way there are more tourists going through Hobbiton each year than any other spot in New Zealand?

If there was a disappointment for me here, it was this. And I have no idea why I thought I had any business to think that the doors of Bag End would open into a fully built out hobbit-hole. I mean OF COURSE they filmed all the interior scenes on a set somewhere. What else would they do? I'm a dummy. Apparently Bag End is painted to three feet inside of the door but that's it. No exploring Bilbo's pantries or larders or throwing a ring into his fireplace to see if there were runes on it.

But there is The Green Dragon.



That's right. Once you pass through Hobbiton and walk past the village notice board and the truly amazing and perfectly put together (but totally fake) mill, there's The Green Dragon, the most famous pub in Hobbiton. And yes, it's right next to the festival field so there's plenty of overflow space when Tooks and Brandybucks and Gamgees and Proudfoots (or is it Proudfeet?) and Boffins and Bolgers descend on the place for a pint or two of ale. Or I guess it's really something smaller than a pint since Pippin was surprised it came in pints when he stopped into the Prancing Pony in Bree. Right?

The Green Dragon is the only building in Hobbiton that you can enter and stay in and sit in and certainly the only one where you can have a beer. My impression is that you get a drink token with the price of your admission because that's what came with our tour (I could be wrong...). One token gets you one drink of beer, cider or ginger beer (ginger beer is everywhere in New Zealand) and all four drinks (there are two varieties of beer) are custom brewed for Hobbiton and Hobbiton only. 

You can see my dilemma already I'm sensing. One token and two types of beer. That math doesn't work for me. Ale or stout? Stout or ale?

Fortunately, additional cups of ale or stout are available for an additional fee. Or apparently they are if Don is around because Don somehow collects all the money. Don wasn't around when I was in there so I got my second for free. I'm lucky sometimes, what can I say.

One cup of ale and one cup of stout. Perfect! It (correctly) does not come in pints at The Green Dragon. 
The beer is the product of New Zealand's own Good George Brewing. And you know I'm going to review the beer. 

Now I'm not sure how the hobbits (who have never been real; have to keep reminding myself) flavored their beer but I imagine a pretty simple beer is what makes a hobbit happy. And if simple's what you want, I'd go with the ale because it was for sure that. Not a bad beer. I've certainly had worse. Just plain, is all.

Want a little more flavor? I'd opt for the stout which has some coffee notes and was on every level far more tasty than the ale. I could have had a few cups of this (after all, it's not even a pint) and sat for a while if our tour had allowed us the time but they rushed us along. Both the stout and the ale seemed very heavily carbonated and it's not a New Zealand thing I don't think because no other beer I supped while over there was this carbonated.

After The Green Dragon you're done, unless you have purchased a lunch on your tour (we had) or you want to buy souvenirs of Hobbiton at the gift store on the way out (we did). It lasted all of maybe an hour and a half and it's completely fake. But it was completely awesome at the same time. I have never been anywhere simultaneously so pointless and so incredible. We visited The Shire. I'm sure of it. Even though I know it's not real and never will be. Sometimes we need to suspend belief sometimes and live in our imaginations. Hobbiton for me was for sure one of these times. 

This post is about Hobbiton but if 90 minutes there doesn't scratch that Tolkien itch enough for you, there are tons more places to go in New Zealand to experience more. I am sure there is every variety of tour company that can take you to filming location after filming location to get your fill and more of all things Hobbit and LOTR. We went smaller scale, including one which is completely free. Well, completely free if you happen to be flying through Wellington International Airport.

What other time am I going to get my picture taken holding a troll's big toe?
Most of the props and models including models of Helm's Deep and Gondor and the arms and armor used by most every character in all the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies were conceptualized and built at the Weta Workshop just south and east of downtown Wellington. The workshop today is still involved in blockbuster movie and television production but also runs tours of their place for those of us determined to get more Middle Earth on our vacation.

No photos on the inside portion of the tour but it did get us a look at and a feel of some of the armor and arms made for the films and some stories about the tricks used to make the whole thing come to life. There is maybe a little too much information shared in some spots especially the story about the dwarf milk made of sweat and talcum powder squeezed from the body suit of some of the dwarf characters in The Hobbit. Not a good visual.

And yes, the three trolls that Bilbo turned to stone by making them argue until the sun came up about the best way to eat the dwarfs are all there outside the studio. The trolls are in their pre-stone form but because they aren't real they may as well be stone. What other time are you going to be able to walk right up to a troll and get a picture.


If you manage to make it to Weta Workshop and have to fly into or out of Wellington, you might notice a pair of eagles flying over the food court and Gandalf sitting on the back of one of the two birds. If there's any place where the entwined identity of New Zealand and Middle Earth comes together for me, it's here. Where else does an airport have a tourist attraction like this? Grab a sandwich, a bag of Bluebird salt and vinegar crisps and maybe a bottle of L&P and hang out below some movie props while waiting for your flight. I don't know of many better ways to spend time at an airport.

Apparently before the eagles were in the airport they had a giant Gollum sculpture. Sorry we missed that but the eagles were cool enough. But neither the eagles nor the Weta Workshop topped Hobbiton. That place was one of the highlights of our trip to New Zealand. Even if it is completely fake.




How We Did It
There are any number of ways to get to Hobbiton but all of them probably involve driving there. I'm sure it's easy to get there in a car once you get out of Auckland but we decided to bus there. There are many many bus trips you can take. Sign on to Viator and search for Hobbiton and you'll find any number of different options. My search while writing this post found 60!

We opted to go to Hobbiton with GreatSights because they offered a tour that started in Auckland, stopped at Hobbiton and Waitomo Caves (home of the famous glowworms) and ended in Rotorua. Since our first stop in New Zealand was in Auckland for three nights and we planned to spend the same amount of time in Rotorua as our second stop, knocking off a couple of our must sees while being driven from one place to the next was ideal. Instead of a day trip from Auckland followed by a day of transit to Rotorua, we managed to take care of two things in one trip. I'm sure there are probably other companies that make the same journey but I can say that other than not showing up at our hotel on time to pick us up (which I guess is kind of a big deal) this company was fantastic. They were super clear about schedule and transfers which I appreciated. And if Raphael is your driver from Auckland to Hobbiton say hi for me. He was fantastic.

If you end up in Wellington and want to get to the Weta Workshop, there is a shuttle bus that takes you from downtown Wellington to the Workshop. There are two tours offered when you get out there: one through the Weta Cave which shows you a lot of their model making capabilities, including some props developed for Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, and one through their set for the Thunderbirds revival which, as a former Thunderbirds fan growing up in England, brought back memories. The entire experience was about four or five hours from start to finish. There are several options for departure and return times. Check their website for details.

Finally, if you are even just passing through Wellington International Airport on a rushed connection, go see the eagles. Just for five minutes. 


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